Dear Ole’ Dad

October 30, 2006 at 3:00 pm (Uncategorized)

This is a picture* of my dad, with his parents, one of his brothers and a cousin. He was quite handsome back in the day. The photo was taken in 1950, about 14 years before he met my mother and married her. Dad had a reputation, to say the least. He married his first wife in 1954 and had 5 kids. Somewhere around 1962 or 1963, he supposedly slapped his wife around some and put her in the hospital and took the 5 kids back to Nebraska. Or was it Kansas? Who knows? They were living in Virginia at that time.

In 1964, he met my mother while they were both in the Army. I think they were in Kansas at the time. Because my mother wanted to get out of her parents’ house, she married my father. She was 21 at the time and two years later I came along.

Now, at this point, he was supposedly overseas. Maybe in Vietnam? I need to ask my mom again. My mother couldn’t take care of all 6 of us and considering she was 23 or 24 years of age, who could blame her. I’m kinda fuzzy on the details but the State came in and took me and the other kids and put us in foster care. My mother went back home to Oklahoma and her parents. She had to find a job before the State of Nebraska would give me back to her. She eventually got me back but the other kids were still in foster care and stayed there for awhile because my dad was overseas and couldn’t come back for quite awhile. I think my uncle, the other brother in the picture, took the kids after awhile.

I think to this day all his other kids have issues about that time period and who can blame them. My mom took me and took off for Jersey with some of her other siblings but my dad’s kids had to deal with the situation and him for the rest of their days.

I eventually met my father when I was in my early 30s after one of my sister’s located me through my mother’s family. I have no memory of anything from back then and am so thankful that I did not grow up in that environment. I can understand my siblings’ point of view and I can have a relationship with my father that is guilt free from their feelings. I can only hope that they forgive him to some extent and get rid of any bad feelings they might have.

When I went to a family reunion a few years ago, my father, one of my sisters and one of my brothers met me in Nebraska. My father, I think, tries to make up for the fact that he wasn’t around me growing up. He’s thrown some greenbacks at me a couple of times (not literally) and I think this helps his conscience a little. And who am I to refuse money? I do wish that I had some feelings for these folks. They are my father and siblings but since I didn’t grow up with them and even today, our correspondence is sporadic, I can’t feel anything for them. It’s almost like they are acquaintences that cross my path every so often. I know they are there but my heart is like the Grinch and is 10 sizes too small.

As a side note, I think I have my father’s eyes!

*Well, after 2 1/2 days I’ve been able to upload a photo. Woo Hoo!



  1. Anonymous said, is a nice place to store and organize all the blog photos. I’ve been using it about a month (the last time blogger didn’t want to allow photo uploads) It is a little more work but much more reliable

  2. Sans Pantaloons said,

    Previous advice I believe, was to clear the browser cache. This may have come from Zed. I’m sure she will contribute. Other than that, as sushiboy advises, use an external host. It has been suggested, but not attempted, to cross post, ie, you email me the picture with size & position info, I upload it to blogger, email you back the URL and code, and you post using that html code.

  3. Mel said,

    I am not able to post pictures either. Blogger sucks

  4. Teri said,

    Thanks for the advice everyone. I think I might use flickr since alot of folks already do. And I continually clear my cache with no luck.

  5. Renee said,

    What an interesting family story! And I like the part about not refusing the money to ease his guilt. That sounds just like me!

  6. Chris said,

    Teri- Thanks for sharing that interesting story. I plan on checking out more of your blog.

  7. stepblog said,

    Thanks for sharing this story Teri

  8. Sans Pantaloons said,

    Your Father is a handsome man, with lovely eyes!

  9. Sans Pantaloons said,

    Teri, I often find that blogger starts to upload a picture OK, but fails to display the ‘Done’ screen and therefore the picture in the post. Usually the picture has been uploaded OK, and it’s just the process that has failed to finish, meaning the picture is actually stored OK. To view it in the post, just copy the code from a previous post picture and change the filename to the new picture. The file name of your Dad’s picture ends with .22 suggesting that you attempted to upload it 22 times. If you check, you will find that all 22 pictures from .1 to .22 are stored in your 2001/3272/1600/ folder.
    Clear as mud…

  10. Charlie Blockhead said,

    It does that to me too every once in a while. You spend a whole day working what you want to say around a picture, then you can’t post it. What a pain in the butt.

  11. Grant Miller said,

    I hate it when long-lost family track me down. I usually deny knowing them.

  12. Anonymous said,

    Teri, that’s one interesting and amazing story. I can understand why you don’t have feelings for your family–you barely know them. Man, you know ME better than them, and I’m just your FAKE sister.
    As for your picture problem, trust me, I have no idea why anyone (including myself) can post or not post on any given day. I’m thinking of moving to flickr myself–it seems reliable.

  13. Doctor Mom said,

    Terri– you had the happy ending I didn’t. My father married another woman after my mother had me. He drank himself goofy. I met him when I was 18, he was a bigger jerk than I expected. I haven’t seen him since.

    My mother seemed to have an a$$hole magnet attached to her.

    I am extremely happy for you that it has worked out! Count your many blessings!

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