Text messaging

July 12, 2008 at 5:54 pm (Brian, stupid men)

**edited** read my post below this one first.

Okay, we’ve been text messaging most of the day. Now don’t get me wrong, if I was not interested in Brian, I still think he’s a great guy. He’s funny, he’s smart, he’s a cutey, he’s got a great heart and he comes from a family that have the same good qualities. So I’m not bashing HIM, I’m bashing the male/female understanding thing.

Here are our conversations. The first is me sending him a message, Thursday night, after the concert, our wonderful evening and kiss:

Me: Because I’m a big chicken, I never asked you the question I wanted to ask. How do you feel about me?

Brian: OMG, I’m texting! (his first time) What have I become here? (we were making fun of all the talkers/texters at the concert) I’m a dunce. I didn’t realize you were feeling that way, terri. From my side of things I’m feeling friendship. I don’t really see that changing in a more romantic direction. I feel that honesty is important here so there is no confusion. I’m sorry and I hope things between us don’t change too much. I still want your friendship.

Me: Oh god, Brian, you’re a jerk. I don’t kiss my male friends or give them the same attention. Your actions told me different. (me crying and being all kinds of pissed off)

Me: I think you are an amazing guy and I value your friendship very much but my feelings will remain what they are. So it’s up to you if the friendship continues.

Me: Sorry if I was too harsh.

Brian: I’m not mad, but now I need time to think about it.



  1. Dick Small said,

    Yes, Brian’s a jerk. However, I think (and always have) that Brian’s gay. He doesn’t want to admit it to you or even himself, but I get the strong feeling that he’s a “man’s man”. Straight men don’t go this long without a girlfriend. I’m afraid you’ve been looking for apples on an orange tree, Teri. Hang in there, Teri, you’ll find someone.
    Someone who’s straight.
    Unlike Brian.

  2. Teri said,

    thanks for the craig’s list idea. I’ll get right on that….

  3. Dick Small said,

    Well, apparantly it worked for Jen. Give it a shot.

  4. SkylersDad said,

    I have to go with Dick on this one, I don’t know of a straight guy that wouldn’t be “snorting up your flanks”, to go with a cheesy horse metaphor here.

  5. Cheer34 said,

    OMG I thought just what Dick said…but I didn’t want to write it….

  6. gaining some lb's said,

    I am gonna agree with Dick. I think he is gay. You will find someone wonderful….he is out there looking for you now 🙂


  7. Superwoman said,

    Sorry, dating sucks.

  8. N said,

    oh geez, teri, i’m so sorry.

    these kind of men suck, gay or not.

    my hubby gave me the “i think we’re better off as friends” line DIRECTLY after the first time we made out, but look at us now…

    something about them having feelings completely freaks them the fuck out.

  9. 'Bubbles' said,

    Men are stupid about feelings. Clueless.

    They want attention. They want to be wanted. Then they get that and they play the, “Uh, huh??” game.

    Sorry, guys. When it is a girl it is a tease. When its a guy its…


    Based on my life’s experiences, the only man worth having in your life is (1) Courageous, and (2) emotionally mature.

    Just my two cents.

    I have no way of possibly knowing Brian’s sexual orientation.

    Keep your chin up. I’m sorry for your tears. 😦

  10. La Crabcuracha said,

    awww! That really sucks. I am so sorry.

    If I were closer we’d have a girl’s night!

  11. PinkPiddyPaws said,

    kinda seems like he’s enjoying the “benefits” of having a loving /slightly physical “relationship” with you w/o all the added responsibility of being in an ACTUAL relationship. I believe the term is “friends with benefits” — only you didn’t sign up for that role.

    I’m sorry Teri, it’s tough. But kudos for you standing up for yourself and your feelings. Stay strong and stay true to you!

  12. Teri said,

    Kitty, it’s weird because he’s not like that and he KNOWS I’m not like that. I think like “N” said above, it’s probably freaking him out that he feels anything considering it’s been so long.

    we’ll see what happens.

  13. Lori said,

    Nothing like piquing a man’s interest by spending more time with another guy.

    Especially now that you’ve made your feelings clear about Brian to him.

    I wonder what would happen if you pulled back a bit, didn’t try to discuss feelings with Brian (men hate that), and perhaps went on a few dates with some other guys…

  14. mixednut said,

    Hang in there Terri. Being single at our age sucks big time.

  15. coffeypot said,

    I say forget him and strike up a meaningful relationship with your vibrator.

  16. fudgelady said,

    Tell Brian he nearly ruined my keyboard!! I was just raising a full mug of drink to my lips when I read Coffey’s “vibrator” comment and practically spewed chocolate milk all over my Mac.


    Can’t keep ’em, can’t put ’em out with the recyclables…

    Want me to send my martial-arts kid over to settle his hash?

    (Or you could just ask Dick to set you up with someone.)

  17. Dick Small said,

    Well, Mixednut seems to be single….

  18. Scarlet said,

    I have always said that, emotionally, we are the dumbest thing on this planet. That’s why when we get it “right”, it is an amazing talking point.

    I have been on both sides of your situation. All I can say right now is wait. Receiving one or two mixed signals is not the way to find an immediate answer.

    You’ve worked out your feelings, let him find his true feelings.

  19. Teri said,

    Scarlet, thanks. I’m waiting and will wait. There are some things that I need to do for myself and will focus on that and leave him alone to figure out his feelings. There are alot of other “signals” that I didn’t mention, so hopefully he’ll realize that, as well. He’s a smart cookie.

    I know he can’t completely ignore me cause he has some stuff at my house that he’ll need eventually. 🙂

  20. The Guv'ner said,


    He obviously is missing a chromosome. You’re better off just being friends before his second head grows in and you’re trapped.

    PAH! 😦

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